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Emmy The Great tells everyone with Royal Baby fever to “wake the fuck up”

29 July 2013, 23:37 | Written by Natalie Archer

London-based songwriter, Emmy The Great isn’t very happy about the nation’s Royal Baby love-in, opting to leave the UK in (semi) protest.

Taking to her own personal blog, Emmy has written a length post about everything Royal-related, intertwined with some pretty hilarious photos of Jay Z caught in a rainstorm of money and a screen grab from Four Weddings and a Funeral.

Before she makes her way the hell out of here, Emmy wants to get one last thing off her chest, taking to the blog to let rip how she feels about the UK’s obsession with “Royal Mania”.

“First there was the wedding, so Disneyland it actually looked like it was designed in some sinister Cinderella-based semiotic plot, then there was the last minute Jubilee, which was damp and pathetic and embarrassing” She writes, “and now the baby.”

The musician goes on to describe the way Wills, Kate and co. are portrayed as “so 2D” and that we shouldn’t be interested in them but other more important and monumental issues going on in our country.

“We are being wilfully blind and superficial. We are setting our gaze on the fortunes of a single family, while behind our backs the government sells public services needed by those families who do not have a county as a surname. We are talking about polka dot dresses and the feminist implications of photographing Kate Middleton, when we could be ignoring photos of Kate Middleton until they don’t come so fast and hard.”

Not holding, Emmy tells all preoccupied by the whole affair to “wake the fuck up” and says that when her velour tracksuit wearing chav sister has a baby she will “ form every lasting opinion I have of the NHS and disability services in the South of England”.

She adds: “It’s going to be hardcore”, before signing off with one last witty statement that is hard to ignore: “I want to be free of this. I don’t want to be ruled. So I’m leaving town for a while. As a parting gift, please throw a Big Brother contestant or a sexy Tory on the front page some time. Just for a change.”

Check out the blog post in full here.

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