It's a real shame that when most people think of Eagles Of Death Metal, their mind is instantly confronted with one (or both) of two facts. One: Eagles Of Death Metal involves Joshua Homme as a producer/songwriter/sometimes live performer. For you who have been living under a (un)rock n roll rock for the past decade or so, Joshua Homme is front man of the now legendary Queens Of The Stone Age, an ever-shifting line-up of musicians working under the main songwriter, the aforementioned smoking, cursing, crowd abusing, venue destroying ginger rocker. Two: On a recent tour with Guns 'n' Roses, Axl Rose personally kicked EODM off the majority of the live dates, and labelled them 'Pigeons Of Shit Metal'. A label which EODM front man Jesse 'The Devil' Hughes now has tattooed with pride on his left arm (And yes, there is a pigeon shitting on said tattoo as well). But I digress. The shame is, that these two celebrity facts should not detract from the vital points, that Eagles Of Death Metal are unashamedly sleazy, dirty and sexy. They create music that is equal parts gentle, equal parts kick you in the face macho. And most importantly, it's FUN. Do you hear me, you bland indie piano stomp bands? And all of you emo bands with the ridiculously long names and desire to be shown as serious in EVERY single picture you ever take? Are you paying attention? Good. I'll make a start then.

Let's do this review in secondary school essay style:

Eagles Of Death Metal are a great band and I like them because they are awesome and rocking and yet aren't afraid to have 'ooo's and 'la's in their music, or to confront awkward situations in their lyrics. Although they have a lot of songs about love and girls and sex and drink, love and girls and sex and drink is what makes the world go round for most men, so by doing this they have a large appeal which will appeal to many men and ladies who like men bound and gagged by the genetic trait called machismo.

(Okay, i'll stop this, because you might be thinking that I'm writing seriously, an....actually no wait, this is fun. Just take my word for it yeah?)

Eagles Of Death Metal are a great band because they are simple yet effective, like the most effective things in life. For example; a bullet, a bottle of fine single malt whisky or indeed the male and female genitalia. Clearly the singer (Jesse 'The Devil' Hughes) knows how to write a great rock song, and create lyrics that are interesting to a varied and wide-ranging audience. His lyrics also appeal to the inner desires of man to become totally enslaved by the ego and act on impulse, evident on such tracks as 'Anything 'cept The Truth'. 'Anything...' is basically a song about deception and lying to your lover. And it is great. As an album opener it is a strange choice, as it is quite sedate and potent, rather than being an instant access blues hit like single 'Wannabee In L.A.', the name of which is a pun or play on words. This song is also great. '(I Used To Couldn't Dance) Tight Pants' mangles grammar and diction in an attempt to chart one man's experiences and indeed improvements on the dance floor. Further on in the album, title track 'Heart On' is probably the weakest of the lot, but is still a good tune, if a little Q.O.T.S.A'y in places. 'How Can A Man With So Many Friends Feel So Alone' has a mid-paced groove, is subtly catchy and leads nicely into 'Solo Flights', which is a song about the pleasures of um, pleasuring yourself? Album finale 'I'm Your Torpedo' refuses to close Heart On quietly, being a stompy blues tinged 5 minute tune, with lots of ambient sound effects and obscure guitar effects. And like the rest of the songs in Heart On, it is great.

Right. Done!

So yes, I know reading this review must have been painful for some of you who actually like good writing, but in a strange way it seems to fit to write like someone in their early teens in order to transmit the overall feeling of adolescent hedonism that permeates through the entirety of Heart On. It's all about enjoying life, enjoying the ego trips, the trashing and the breaking and the drinking. It's about doing what you want and when you want to, and yeah you'll have regrets, but who cares! And these days, most bands have too much pomp or social conscience to let rip and enjoy themselves. Which is why Heart On is both a quality album, and a kick up the arse to anyone taking life too seriously. Forget growing up, try growing down. Live a little. This album won't change your life, but it'll make a great soundtrack to the times that you let your hair down and be a man. Or a woman. Dependant on genitalia. 85%

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