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All Apologies: Bill Ryder-Jones

18 April 2016, 14:50

Ahead of his appearance at Scotland's Electric Fields festival in August, Bill Ryder-Jones tackles the burning, soul-defining questions at the heart of the Best Fit Q&A.

Who would play you in a movie of your life?

Has to be Macaulay Culkin (sp) doesnt it. The original baby faced wrong ‘un.

What would your superpower be and why?

Hard one. It's between two...1) Teleportation because no more planes or 2) Invisibility ‘cos I’m nosey.

What’s your idea of heaven?

If you mean literally then I don’t believe in one. I reckon living forever in bliss would be pretty fucking dull actually.

What one thing have you learnt from your parents?

My mother always used to say to me 'Don’t let the fuckers grind you down'. I think that’s a pretty strong message. I've learnt so much from them though, it's hard to say.

What song do you wish you’d written?

"Dead Aid" by Gorky’s Zygotic Mynci. It's everything I've ever wanted from a song, that or "Something Like You" by Michael Head and The Strands

If you could say something to your 15 year old self, what would it be?

Stay in school and don’t do drugs.

What’s your re-occuring nightmare?

Ah man I have two. First one is I’m on a plane to LA, I honestly would rather cut my thumbs off with some garden sheers. The other one is I’m stuck on the moon on my own. Fucking hate that one.

What song will they play at your funeral?

Not that i plan on having one but I guess it'd be sweet if they played one of mine. You really want as many people broken in pools of tears don’t you.

What five people would you invite to your fantasy dinner party?

Resisting the urge to make the Alan Partridge joke here... To be honest I don’t like eating with people, think it's annoying when they want to talk. I'll pick 5 mute vegetarians.

And finally, who would you most like to apologise to and why?

Where to start... I let down an ex girlfriend (MiNNETONKA) after her nan died because I was out getting wrecked once. I feel fucking awful about that. Also every girl who's had to see me in the nip.

Bill Ryder-Jones is set to play Electric Fields, which runs from 26-27 August at Drumlanrig Castle in Scotland.
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