Beach House – UK Tour Diary

Touring, to some of us, might seem like a glamourous way to spend our days. Especially to me who spends his days locked in a broom cupboard, upstairs and away from everyone else…

Anyway, during their recent tour of the UK I managed to sweet talk Alex and Victoria from the Baltimore “Dream Pop” band Beach House, to write a tour diary about the fun and frolics they encountered during their stay.

Day One – Cambridge

THE FLIGHT
Alex – Have slept for about 5 hours in the city of Brussels, which smells like, you guessed it, brussel sprouts. We’ve flown into the Cambridge airport and have reunited with our favorite Englishman in existence, Mark Byrne (except maybe Brian Eno). But oh no, the equipment is all wrong, we’ll see how it goes tonight (biting nails).
Victoria – I don’t wanna really leave the hotel we stayed at in Brussels, it was so comfortable. The flight is turbulent, we arrive, and we don’t have the right gear. Whoops. Kind of want to go home at that point.

THE GRADUATE
Alex – we may have the wrong, shit amps, no keyboard stand, and a giant pole filled with electricity in front of the stage, but wow, at least some people came to see us play! Oh yeah, and there are massive crowd control barriers in front of the stage, we’re not grindcore guys; welcome to misinformationville, population Cambridge.
Victoria – I play keyboard and there is no amp or stand. How exciting!! A very exciting burger is found in Cambridge, a slap-happy conversation about how the venue has a crowd control barrier to keep all the emo kids from rushing the stage. Funny. Alex keeps getting feedback and it’s hilarious.

THE HOTEL
Alex – Travelodge! Here we find all our favorite English pop on MTV. The good stuff that will never catch on in the states. Our super special favorite, Newton Faulkner! When I saw him playing that land-earth guitar in outer space with those big orange dreads, i just about ruptured.
Victoria – I’m already amazed at how far the hotel is from the city we are playing at. Oh, but there is a Little Chef to eat breakfast in. Yes.

Day Two – Leeds

LONDON?
Alex – We drive first thing to retrieve the correct gear from London, stopping to dine at ‘Lil Chef along the way for a traditional English breakfast. Lil Chef: Big indigestion.
Victoria – We stop at the same rest stop we did before, because so far we are driving in circles. I keep thinking about Led Zeppelin. Live at Leeds.

FAVFAVFAVERSHAM
Alex -We’ve heard that Leeds is a real “hip” town. We had a nice dinner at Faversham and played to a nice crowd (though we ruined our “hip” image when I smashed my head leaving the stage. I mean, really smashed it, I have a huge bump, saw stars. The bartender told me to “sit down, have a drink” I haven’t been the same since).
Victoria – I think Alex is going to die in his sleep. People keep talking about Beirut everywhere we go. A girl that sounds like Joanna Newsome meets Regina Spektor headlines that night.

THE HOTEL
Alex – Travelodge! We begin the tradition of hanging a poster of a cute terrier in our Travelodge rooms. We call the dog “Travelodge”. I found this poster in the trash in Cologne.
Victoria – Groundhog Day. We start making a video about our trip in England by filming about how identical the evenings are, driving thirty miles outside of the cities we play in to go to the same Travelodges, the same rooms, it is kind of creepy. I love the sheep and the rolling hills.

Day Three – Manchester

RISE AND SHINE
Alex – AHHHH, Lil Chef. Wait, is this the same day as yesterday?
Victoria – Yes.

NITE AND DAY
Alex – Sprucing myself up with a trim of the old headhedge, I am set to perform my butt off. It turns out to be a sleepy night all around at the Night and Day. I think I could have had a witty pun about that name, but I was too sleepy to come up with one.
Victoria – It is really laid back at the Night and Day, kind of like eternal night there actually. The audience feel really far away, like they’re almost out the door. Can’t really seem to connect with anyone. Kind of bummed actually. Oh, and there is a Travelodge five minutes walking distance from the venue.

THE HOTEL
Alex – You guessed it. The holy trinity: Travelodge, “Travelodge” the dog and MTV.
Victoria – We drive 45 minutes to get to the hotel. Manchester’s my oyster!

Day Four – Glasgow

DRIVE TO GLASGOW
Alex – this was a lovely, sleepy, and beautiful drive through northern England and into Scotland. We all make vows to return to this beautiful place, but realize we’ll never not be on tour again… just kidding.
Victoria – I like the drive to Glagow, the rolling hills again, the green breasts of land humping in my peripheral vision. I feel like I’m in a movie. I think about the Scottish side of my family, the McLean clan, and a plaid tear rolls down my plump part Scot, part French cheek.

THE ADMIRAL
Alex – The head bump is receding, the end of 6+ weeks away from home is approaching, the Northern air is refreshing. This show was one of my favorites in all of Europe. After the show a strange lad confided in me the process of how to remove an unwanted third nipple. Seriously. I don’t know why he brought it up, but I listened closely.
Victoria – I love this show. Love it. There aren’t that many people, but everybody’s in good spirits. I eat some good food, find some internet in the staircase. The show is like a sad prom, and I feel great. Really good show. Really really really drunk couple persuade me to go upstairs and drink with them, almost getting themselves kicked out for throwing shit. Then they fall over our equipment, hilarioussssss.

THE HOTEL
Alex – Travelodge, duh!…and 30 min drive from the venue as usual….
Victoria – This again? Newton Faulkner.

Day Five – Aimless

Alex – With no show that night, we are free to sleep in a bit. The added rest helps us realize that everything is good, we’ll be home soon. We spend a relaxed day in the auto with our main-man tour manager Mark (who has been a Saint in this last week of endless touring 2007), listening to John Cale’s “Hanky Panky Nohow” almost constantly. That night we arrive in Birmingham at the strangest and most extravagant Travelodge of them all. The building was like a flat, yet bloated computer chip with circle windows a la ‘Life Aquatic’. We eat a whole bunch of tasty chinese food that pretty much does in our tour budget, but at least we pass out with happy MSG smiles.
Victoria – After checking into our spaceship, and dropping our stuff off in our fishtanks, we go to where the venue is. Holy smoke: no posters, no Beach House on the schedule. Just other really famous people’s names, like Andrew Bird on posters outside and I have a major realization that we may, yet again, be having a tiny, Oh come and look a the miniature zebras, namely us, type show. I don’t generally like having days off, kind of kills the momentum.

Day Six- Birmingham

GLEE CLUB
Alex – No amount of experience in Birmingham, Alabama could have prepared me for Birmingham, UK. After navigating the 4 dimensional spinning roadways of this town we arrived at the Glee Club. The staff were very nice and informed us that they had sent out free tickets out of concern for the low number of pre-sales. It turned out to be one of the most diverse crowds we have ever played for. There was one older gentleman we spotted before the show that looked very grumpy, we were especially worried about him. He turned out to be a really sweet, classy guy with a surprising interest in our “Dream pop.”
Victoria – Our mixer is busted. The usual end of our equipment breakdown bullcrap. I kind of feel like crying, maybe its that time of the month. I’m not that filled with glee, but the people of the Glee Club are nice and because our pre-sales were so low, like 9 people, they have invited over a hundred people to come see us for free, yea! The one guy I pick out in the front row who I think is going to hate us, is the last guy who talks to us. I later see a video of Adele Atkins playing at the Glee Club on Youtube. Someone tells me I’m going to be famous, FUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNY. Oh, and there is a buffet.

HOTEL BYRNE
Alex – We drive after the show to Mark’s London flat. We are anxious to spend our first travelodgeless night. I draw the short straw and find myself on the constantly deflating air mattress and try not to think of it as a metaphor for my life.
Victoria – Alex discovers that a deflating mattress is the PERFECT metaphor for his life.

Day Seven – London

SPEED SHOPPING
Alex – London is such a wonderful place! Good thing we only have one hour to shop before we must scurry our butts over to soundcheck. Success, we each find white leather shoes which will be instrumental in endless tour 2008 (wink wink).
Victoria – I realize in London that I am a materialistic whore who loves things to buy. Not really, but I do buy a plain pair of black sneakers for 5 pounds at a store that’s kind of like the local crack dealer for plain black sneakers. The guy is totally telling this girl that her feet are too big and that she should lose some weight, hysterical. Also, there are so many fashionable people, really the opposite of Baltimore.

WATER RATS
Alex – Here, piled between several completed unrelated bands, we have a lovely show. For a moment I am actually sad that the tour is ending. I drink and drink and drink and dream that Amy Winehouse and Newton Faulkner are the Queen and King of london, living in the gurgen (sp.) and eating blood pudding 24/7.
Victoria – This is the weirdest night in a long time. Not exactly what we imagined, we end up playing with some of the weirdest people, dreadheaded clockwork orangey ravey types, and these two southern girls who claim that Lou Reed is coming to see them. We have an awesome room in the basement with a lava lamp, and the show feels like we are all on the Titanic and we could all be about to go down, but somehow, we end up not sinking. A lot of people are there and for a moment, we feel like maybe we are not such losers here in England. I try to drink as much whisky as I can. Also we meet Tony and Caro of Tony, Caro and John. They like our cover song of their original Snowden Song. First famous musicians that I meet.

GOODBYE TOUR
Alex – We climb aboard a plane and say to goodbye to dear Mark, and dear London.
Victoria – I wake up and I actually can’t remember anything except that my bags are too full of crap, and that I get through customs with way more than one bag. I have to take off all my clothes it seems and am a total wreck stumbling through the airport which feels like a shopping mall. My shoes are eternally untied and I eat some sausages, where am I? Oh, I am FINALLY going home. Thanks Marky Mark Byrne!!! My life is really together now.

mp3:> Beach House: Gila