Johnny Lynch of The Pictish Trail

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Pictish Trail man and Fence Records founder Johnny Lynch takes the Best Fit Q&A and tells us why being a super hero is pointless if you can’t fly and about who he’d most like to apologise to as we realise his idea of heaven is pretty close to our own.

Who would play you in the movie of your life?

It’s always a more attractive actor in the film, isn’t it? Like Ashton Kutcher as Steve Jobs, or Daniel Day Lewis as Lincoln. I think I’d try and reverse the trend, and get some one a bit weird looking. Timothy Spall? Timothy Spall is the go-to man if you want someone captivatingly ugly.

What would your superpower be and why?

I’m trying to think of something new but really, the best superpower to have would be the ability to fly. Classic superpower, that – and yet so few superheroes have it. Why don’t they just give all superheroes the ability of flight? Batman must’ve felt like a right arse when he saw that recent Superman film. If I was Batman, and I saw that Superman film, I’d just give up. Yeah, the film’s crap … but what’s the point in being a superhero if you can’t even fly? What’s the point in even having a flippin’ cape?!

What’s your idea of heaven?

Ummm. Floating on my back on the hot waters of the Blue Lagoon in Iceland, whilst snowflakes slowly kiss my face. There’s a free bar run by Vic & Bob, and Luke Abbott is providing the soundtrack.

What one thing have you learnt from your parents?

Love.

What song do you wish you’d written?

My next one. I’ve got a new song that is half-finished, and it’s clogging up all my thoughts. I want to get the bugger finished so I can start on the next one.

If you could say something to your 15 year old self, what would it be?

You should be thinking about girls more. You’re thinking about maths waaay too much.

What’s your re-occurring nightmare?

I’ve been dying in my dreams a lot, recently. You’re not meant to die in your dreams, are you? I guess what I’m experiencing isn’t really death, as I have an awareness of it. I’ve had dreams where I’ve had an out-of-body experience, and I’m floating above my own lifeless body. It’s weird, cos I don’t believe in ghosts. I got shot in the head in a dream the other day. Blood everywhere.

What song will they play at your funeral?

It’s up to them. I’d like my nearest and dearest to choose. I’ll be drifting along to ‘Soft Attacks’ from Holkham Drones, anyway.

Which five people would you invite to your fantasy dinner party?

Mum and Dad, my girlfriend, and Vic & Bob.

Who would you most like to apologise to and why?

Christ, this is getting deep. Probably my future self, for eating too many macaroni pies throughout my twenties.

Secret Soundz Vol. 2 is out now via Fence Records

The Pictish Trail are currently on tour - get dates and tickets.