Blondshell’s new album If You Asked For A Picture is a walk through Sabrina Teitelbaum’s own embrace of life’s eternal questions. She talks Camryn Teder through the songs that helped her get there.
For many artists, their art is a recollection of life. While the source makes the work meaningful, where do you draw the line?
Unsure if she should share the full picture or just a snapshot, Sabrina Teitelbaum - AKA Blondshell - asked herself this countless times during the making of her second album. The question eventually became the basis for the title. If You Asked For A Picture comes from the 1986 poem “Dogfish” by American poet Mary Oliver, an artist burdened by a similar thought.
One verse reads, ‘I don't need to tell you everything I’ve been through / It’s just another story of somebody trying to survive.’ These words struck Teitelbaum at exactly the right time. “I had initially overlooked it when I was reading a lot of her poems and found it again after I made the album. I was like, ‘Oh my God, this is how I feel,’” she says.
Known for her unabashed clarity and wit, Teitelbaum, made a name for herself from her self-titled debut alone, informed by years of work in the underground scene prior. Fans found her alternative rock and unbridled honesty cathartic. Her new album builds off of her signature bold observations, but she feels If You Asked For A Picture offers wider perspectives than her debut.
While the writing process started it was the same as Blondshell, but Teitelbaum sees much more curiosity in her new project. She finds the opening up to the grey areas refreshing. “I'm writing about this because I feel really overwhelmed by it and I need to say something about it. That’s how the writing happens. But after the fact, I can look at it and be like, ‘Oh, I see the through lines.’” she explains.
“I think the through lines here were, What kind of person am I? What kind of relationships am I capable of? What kind of relationship do I want to be in? What kind of friendships do I want to be in? What kind of life do I want to have? Those are sort of the questions that I saw coming up.”
While it can be difficult to open up the door of self-confrontation, Teitelbaum tells me it was something that came with growing up. “I think I just spent time taking care of myself. When I made my last album, I was taking care of myself, but there's been more time doing that now because it's a couple years on. So I have more compassionate days under my belt,” she says.
The resulting record is one full of honest revelations. There’s a vulnerable confrontation with control in “Toy”, an exploration of broken family dynamics in “23’s A Baby” and “What’s Fair”. It all goes back to Teitelbaum’s freeing aim to share snapshots of her life and release emotions in the way she knows best: in song.
“I think a lot of the time I don't really know how I feel entirely about somebody until I'm writing about them. On my first album I was writing and then I was like, ‘Oh, I think I actually hate this person.’ And I had no idea, so sometimes it gives you things.”
The practice not only helps her see patterns in her ways of thinking but also allows her to acknowledge the healing that’s happened in her relationship with the past. “The way I see my stories is always changing. As I get older it changes because I have more distance from it and more healing occurs. The writing reflects how it has changed, not the other way around,” she reflects. “Stuff happens subconsciously and then it comes out in the writing, and sometimes it's clearer to me because of the writing, but I think it's usually that the songs are reflective of what's been going on silently.”
Writing aside, Teitelbaum found herself drawn to the sounds found in projects like Rated R by Queens of the Stone Age and Californication by Red Hot Chili Peppers for If You Asked For A Picture. It’s always been natural for her to infuse the masculine energy of songs into her own tales of life as a young woman. But now, she’s hoping to let her feminine side breathe more too.
“The main thing when you're making music is just your own past. It's like, what do you listen to? What references are you coming in with? Which choices do you want to make? But I think it was a big deal on this album that I was actually willing to bring both of those sides into the music more than I was in the last album.”
While the shift came down mainly to personal taste, some of it came from a letting go of a reluctance to be fully vulnerable. “The last album feels much more masculine to me than this album, and it was something I had to push myself to do, to be comfortable with adding in more femininity into this album,” she says.
“I think if you're a woman singing about what it's like to be a woman, sometimes it feels like, ‘Oh, I have to toughen this up somehow. I have to balance it out or make it more palatable to other people.’ And my instinct is always to have armour for myself, and just to feel a little bit tougher.”
Fully embracing vulnerability is something she’s learned to do during the making of If You Asked For A Picture, but Teitelbaum says she’s been drawn toward songs of a similar disposition her whole life.
In pulling together her Nine Songs, she tells me she was drawn to projects that felt like they were pulled straight from a human source. Take Blondshell’s first pick for example: the uber-personal “Coney island Baby” by Lou Reed.
“Coney Island Baby” by Lou Reed
He's one of my favorite artists ever. I feel like he's everybody's favorite artist because he's the best. With anybody who's making art, it's hard work to get down to the actual truth of what you're saying and get past all the layers and all the bullshit. I don't know what his process was like, but it just feels so pure to me.
All the art that he made feels straight from the source. If you're a singer, there's always a lot of time and energy spent on sounding good and hitting the right notes and having the right tone and all these things. I feel like with him, he's almost just speaking, but it sounds really good. It all feels true, and that sounds so basic, but he's just existing and it doesn't feel like there's any ego in it.
I had never heard music like that when I found his solo stuff back in ninth grade, or whenever I started listening to his music. I first listened to The Velvet Underground, and then I was listening to his music. Also, it's just the best guitar part ever on this song.
BEST FIT: And the story too! It's so personal to him. Like you said, it’s real and from the source, but people can still relate to it because he is really explaining a lot of the human experience.
Yes. I think when I found his music, I was listening to the music really. Just the vibes. I wasn't analysing anything at that age. I wasn't like, ‘What's he saying?’ ‘What are the parts?’ It's just vibes. And I think I felt really hit by it because of the way that he sings or speaks feels so genuine. I just felt connected to it, and that's like all the explanation you really need with something.
“Jealous Guy” by Donny Hathaway
BEST FIT: This was originally done by John Lennon. Why did you pick this cover in particular?
Fave. Cover. Ever. One of the best singers ever. There’s so much power in his voice and in the piano part. The whole thing about covers is that it makes you hear a song in a way that you wouldn't have heard it before. When I was a little kid, I loved The Beatles, but then as I got older, it really started to feel inaccessible to me, and I think in a lot of ways it still does.
Like, I'm not going to throw The Beatles on. I know people who do and feel really emotionally connected to them, but for whatever reason I just have a hard time with it. And there are John Lennon songs that I love. It's easier for me to be into his solo stuff than into The Beatles.
BEST FIT: Why is that?
I don't know. I haven't really figured out why, but I think his solo stuff is just kind of simple. Great songs, but I still feel like I wasn't able to connect for whatever reason. But then when I heard this cover, and it just hit me in such a different way, and I felt so connected to it. I also just love everything about Donny Hathaway's voice and the piano part.
BEST FIT: I feel like some songs by The Beatles are more manicured. And Donny Hathaway's version is so much bolder, while John Lennon's is more vulnerable and delicate, so it really does put a different lens on it.
Yes, and to each their own, a lot of people are going to prefer the other one. I mean, he's John Lennon. But yes, it's so big and it sounds so effortless, but it's obviously not. I tried to learn that piano part one time and it's really involved, but it still sounds so, ‘I'm jealous and angry and I'm just throwing this song out there.’
“Fool to Cry” by The Rolling Stones
I love the Rolling Stones, and I think they're obviously known for their bigger rock songs. All the big hits are sort of big and in your face, and just really glamorous rock stuff. But there's this softer side of them that I really love.
There's a song of theirs called “Worried About You” and that has a similar Mick Jagger falsetto thing that this song has, and I think it's really nice when you have a band that's famous for these super big songs that show more intimate, up close, really sweet personal moments, and this song is like one of those for me.
BEST FIT: It's nice to see the dichotomy of that. I read that your dad took you to your first Rolling Stones concert. Did you find this song in that era of life or is this something you discovered later on?
No, I found this song later. I was really obsessed with this one album when I was a kid, Tattoo You, and I knew the hits off of the other albums. But this is a song that I found a lot later. I don't remember how I found it.
BEST FIT: Earlier you said you’re typically not drawn to writing happy songs, and I feel like you're drawn toward listening to these sadder songs too.
I listen to happy songs sometimes, like if I'm working out or if I'm just needing that for whatever reason, but those aren't the songs that I would think of as Hallmark songs of my life that changed me. I do like listening to happy songs, but not that often.
“Hanging on the Telephone” by Blondie
BEST FIT: This is also a cover. Why did you pick this one?
This is actually a happy song! But I think this is one of those ones that doesn't have a huge explanation. I love this song and I love Blondie, and I think it's one of those things where one of the biggest things about listening to music is just getting confidence from it.
I feel like I got a lot of confidence throughout my life listening to Blondie. So I love that this is one of those songs for me. It just feels good.
“Nights on Broadway” by Bee Gees
BEST FIT: The synth on this one is really fun.
It's so fun, right? You used the word ‘manicured’ about The Beatles, and I feel like this is really manicured disco. It’s so polished and mapped out and glamorous.
And again, it's similar to the confidence thing. Music can make you feel really cool when you're listening to it, and I feel like there's no way to not listen to this song and feel like you're extremely cool walking down the street. It's just one of those songs where you listen and you're like, ‘life is good.’
BEST FIT: I definitely have those songs for myself. For me, I listen to something like “On The Floor” by Perfume Genius.
I love that song. For me it's always, again, the vibes of the song. It's just a confidence booster. It's also like, ‘my life is a movie.’ That's how this song feels to me. Especially with the synth.
“Storms” by Fleetwood Mac
This is that classic Fleetwood Mac slow burn. It never gets into some big explosive moment or anything. It's just a slow burn the whole time. Also, Stevie Nicks is just Stevie Nicks. And that says it, you know? I also just like this idea that ‘I have always been a storm.’ I think it's really beautiful. It's a really beautiful song.
I hadn't known this song until I was on tour a couple of years ago. Everything's heightened on tour. People tell you not to make any major life decisions on tour, which is the best advice I've ever gotten about touring.
Don't break up with anybody when you're on tour. Don't get married when you're on tour. I mean, I don't own a house, but don't sell your house. Big life decisions? Just don't make them when you're on tour. I think it's because everything's so raw and so heightened. I found this song when I was in that place, so I just have this connection to it for that reason.”
BEST FIT: I'm sure that's a really tumultuous time because you're always traveling. That alone must be really chaotic, and then you’re pouring out your emotions onstage. I can imagine that's a storm in and of itself, not to be cheesy.
(Laughs) Yes. Like you're doing the thing that is your dream, and you're also really fucking tired. So it’s a mix. It's wonderful and amazing, and that's why I do it. But it's also really raw. Everything's so emotional on tour.
“She’s Not Me” by Jenny Lewis
BEST FIT: You actually turned me on this song. It’s been on repeat in my playlist, so thanks for that! This is also the most contemporary song on your list so far. Why do you like this one and how'd you find it?
I love Jenny Lewis. I’m a big Jenny Lewis stan. The meaning of the song's pretty clear and obvious to me. I like the lyrics, but for me it's really about the sounds and how she sounds singing the song and her vocal tone and the guitar.
I love her vocals. Her vocals are amazing, and it just feels good to listen to it. I'm trying to remember when that album The Voyager came out, maybe like 2015 or something? I love the album, “Just One of the Guys” is on that album too, but this is my favorite song on that album. I love the guitars.
BEST FIT: So this one is more sonic for you?
Yes.
BEST FIT: Well sonically and lyrically, this song really reminded me of some of yours because it’s a pretty serious exploration told in a more playful way. I feel like you do that well with balancing dark humour in your songs.
I think I’ve found that when I was going through a breakup, I would be obsessed with the lyrics. I just happened to find it more. But I wasn't going through a breakup when I found the song, so I fucking love this song because it sounds so good.
“French Navy” by Camera Obscura
Camera Obscura, to me, are one of the most influential indie bands of the last 20 years. To me it sounds a lot like Alvvays, and I love Alvvays.
I grew up listening to my parents' music and then at some point that shifted, and I started listening to music that I would find in little ways on my own. A lot of the ways that I found new music was in magazines, or going to record stores, or going on websites. I’d also go to venues that were near my house and find new bands that were playing there.
This was one of the first bands I found that way where I was like, ‘Oh, I have ownership over this,’ because nobody showed it to me, and nobody told me to listen to it. I just found it and I'm obsessed with it. And that record, My Maudlin Career, was something that I listened to over and over again going to school in high school. It is just so nostalgic for me. It's so New York winter.
BEST FIT: I can relate to the imagery of you listening to this going to school. I had so many foundational songs that I listened to my iPod Nano on the bus.
That stuff sticks with you in a way that you just like, like nothing else can.
BEST FIT: This is sort of mean, but I remember being like, ‘I hope nobody sits next to me because I love listening to this.’
Oh my god, that's so funny.
“Your Best American Girl” by Mitski
Puberty 2 and Bury Me At Makeout Creek. Those albums came out around high school for me. It was a really formative time. I always wrote songs my whole life, but this was sort of like, ‘Oh, I really want to take this seriously,’ and I think I felt really influenced by how she writes and her voice and her perspective.
BEST FIT: I love this song too. It's like a beautiful crescendo. You can feel the power in it.
Yes, I mean, this is one of those songs that I listened to and really fell in love with before the lyrics hit me. Then I remember at some point the lyrics hitting me and being like, ‘Oh shit. This is a really meaningful song about cultural and racial differences in a relationship.’
So I had listened to the lyrics after the song, but I think I had fallen in love with that song for a while and was just listening to it and loving it. And then one day I was like, ‘Oh shit, this is what this is about.’
BEST FIT: It’s so cool when you listen to a song purely for the vibes and then you find out the meaning is really good too. Then your love for it just intensifies.
Yes. I think it's a really beautiful song and you hear so many emotions, and it overwhelms you. You were talking about the longing with the Perfume Genius song that you love, and I hear a lot of longing in this song. I hear a lot of just realising things, and more than anything else I hear the release of talking about the truth of your experience.
I think this is the album with “I Bet On Losing Dogs” and “A Burning Hill”, and the album means a lot to me. She's such a singular writer, because of how specific her perspective is and how she's able to talk about these bigger issues in such personal terms. I hate the word ‘raw’. I hate when people use that word, because it's really overused.
BEST FIT: It’s painfully overused.
But with Mitski it's like, there's nothing else to cover it. You just hear everything. You get everything from her. She's one of the best songwriters and I feel super influenced by this song.
Get the Best Fit take on the week in music direct to your inbox every Friday
Tune-Yards
Better Dreaming
Matt Maltese
Hers
Billy Nomates
Metalhorse
