O2 Wireless Festival Diary: Day 1 [03/07/08]

04 July 2008, 14:59

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Words : Rich Thane & Peter Bloxham. Photographs: Rich Thane

Corporate festivals. Not normally the kind of place you’d find TLOBF. Not because we’re snobs or anything, you know – it’s just that the lineups are always a little on the shit side. Luckily for Wireless then, that they decided to ask much loved and respected London based label Bella Union (home to Fleet Foxes, Beach House, Lift To Experience, Explosions In The Sky) to host their very own stage. Giving the casual music fan a more ‘alternative’ festival experience. On paper, a fantastic idea – but can they pull it off at a festival that’s more concerned with brand awareness than the actual music? Well, that’s what we’re here to find out. Label boss and ex-Cocteau Twin Simon Raymonde kindly invited TLOBF to cover the 4 day event on their behalf. To take in the sites and sounds and give you, dear reader an insight into the weekends shenanigans.

Day 1

11:40 TLOBF meet at Kings Cross and decide that it would be a totally super idea to casually stroll to Hyde Park. It’s a ‘reasonable walk’ but ‘being as it’s such a glorious day and all’ we set off.

30 minutes down the line and we spot a rather awesome looking pub. It must be graduation day for some University students as they stand outside the pub in throngs. That doesn’t put us off though. Pear Cider and Guiness on a hot summers day. Is there anything better in life. Seriously… We’re in high spirits as we leave the pub and undertake the last mile to Hyde Park. Which is where it all goes a bit wrong.

14:15 We’ve been walking a while and decide to hop on a bus. We’re having an animated conversation about food or something but Pete can’t help the feeling that the bus should definately have turned right by now. Of course he second guesses himself and keeps his stupid mouth shut for the first time in his life.

14:30 After chatting on the bus for about 15 minutes, Pete Bloxham’s suspicions about the bus going the wrong way up the Finchley road are finally confirmed beyond a doubt when we see signs for Hampstead. Fuck. Fuck. We get the bus back to the pub and decide to use their ‘facilities’. We think it rude not to have another drink. We should’ve stayed on the bus to Hyde Park Corner. By now walking the rest of the way is a bad idea. But we do it anyway.

16:15 After what feels like 6 hours of aimlessly walking around and having countless people give us wrong directions – we finally make it to Marble Arch. (We actually made it in a fairy direct route, although I’ll admit that my sense of where exactly I should be going was vague at best- Pete). Rich Thane is tired of walking and appalled that someone who has lived and worked in London for years can have such difficulty finding a major landmark. Excuses aren’t washing and eventually a threat is made involving an afro and a bic razor. The words “It’s fine! We’re here, we only took one or two wrong turns!” and “We’re not even late!” are repeated ad nauseum but seem to fall on deaf ears.

16:30 We arrive the Wireless Festival site. As luck would have it – at the wrong entrance. After more walking we find press entrance, have customary arguments with the people handing out tickets, beg for a photo pass. We’re in. Thank the Lord!

16:35 After five minutes we’re both resisting the powerful brainwashing tactics of one million billion brands plastered all over the site. The term ‘corporate festival’ suddenly takes on a very literal meaning indeed. The place has everything – the entire park is lined with outlets selling everything from roast beef to chow mein to vegetarian curry. There’s a half pipe, an Xbox 360 arcade and about nine different structures adorned with sponsorship logos that I’m not even sure have a specific purpose.

Finding Bella Union stage isn’t as easy as it seems.
“Hey excuse me, can you tell us where we can find the Bella Union stage?” we ask various stewards. Responses vary from: “What’s the Bella Union stage?” to “There isn’t one.” Excellent. Our claims that it has “arguably the best line up of the whole festival, mate!” are met with suspicious stares.

After walking around the site aimlessly for around 15 minutes I suddenly pick out, from the distance, My Morning Jacket’s ‘Magheeta’ blasting from a nearby PA. There is a red double decker London bus in our direction with a make shift stage attached. That’ll be the Bella Union stage then. Awesome – a stage with bugger all advertising. How refreshing. We have beer and catch up with the Bella Union guys.

17:00 Just as we’d settled down and rested our wounded feet, a torrential downpour ensues. We pass the time by talking to a random Australian girl about the weather and answer a questionnaire about which brands we have noticed at the festival. We only do this because the woman doing the questionaires was wet and wanted to go home. She seemed nice but turned out to be a complete simpleton. Pete is annoyed by this questionnaire and gives smart-alec answers. Simpleton is not amused. She decides to run headlong into downpour to avoid talking to TLOBF any longer.

Pete Greenwood, Bella Union Stage.

18:00 It’s still bloody raining as Pete Greenwood takes to the Bella Union stage. Pete does fantastically despite the bad weather and reacts well to heckling from a pair of stereotypical major festival morons. I think they were smoking crack. Not familiar with Greenwood’s material, we watched with baited breath to see if the London via Leeds folk singer could cheer up a sodden and sparse crowd. He did a fantastic job. He reminded Rich of Mick Head from Shack in his vocal delivery, whilst his meticulous folk guitar playing had hints of Nick Drake. Impressive stuff indeed. Having recently signed to Heavenly records, expect to hear more from his soon. Check his myspace here .

18:30 We grab some food in the hospitality area. Television presenters and ex-shipwrecked stars mill about while we stuff our faces. Rich Thane opts for a juicy steak burger while Peter picks at some watermelon and feta cheese. Hell yeah – we know how to party. We are rather excited at the prospect of the complimentary pic n mix.

18:45 We head on over to see what’s happening over on the other stages. We find some weird dance act playing in the San Disk arena. They had horns and a scantily clad dancer. That’s really all there is to say about them. Needless to say they were shit. Heading over to the main stage we spot a little pink haired woman onstage. Oh! It’s Lily Allen. Fuck, it must mean we’ve stumbled upon Mark Ronson’s set. People seemed to be enjoying themselves, Rich is more concerned that he’d left his bag of Pic n Mix on the dinner table.

Cave Singers, Bella Union Stage

19:15 Aaaah, that’s more like it. Back at the Bella Union stage just in time for Cave Singers . And boy oh boy, do they not disappoint. In their brief 25 minute set they managed to cram in highlights from this years debut album Invitation Songs including ‘Helen’, ‘Seeds Of Night’ a jaw dropping ‘Dancing On Our Graves’ which saw front man Pete Quirk bang away on a make shift drum: An industrial size tub of Hellman’s mayonnaise. Half way through the set, Quirk makes a classic faux pas remarking that a group of St Johns ambulance medics weren’t paying attention. Only to realise moments later, they were in fact attending to a fainted girl. Exclaiming ‘Oh god, I didn’t see that! Now I feel like a total asshole!’ We all laugh and don’t even feel guilty. Easily the performance of the day.

20:15 Swedish singer songwriter and the only Bella Union artist playing today; Peter Von Poehl takes to the stage. His gentle performance is heartfelt and certainly more tender that on record – he is unfortunately cursed with a disappointing turn out from the crowd. With only a handful of people in the audience Rich confesses a feeling of guilt for having to dash over to the main stage to make sure he gets a spot in the photo pit for Jay-Z. Not before making a detour to the games tent where Bloxham is handed a thrashing on Soul Calibre by Thane. (It was more fluke, but the brutal digital beating eases some tension caused by pointlessly walking round Central London only hours earlier.)

Peter Von Poehl, Bella Union Stage

21:15 Jay-Z holds the crowd in the palm of his hand. He explains explicitly that among his many concerns in life, a ‘bitch’ is absolutely not one. Anyone who was with Beyonce Knowles would probably make the same claim. The synchronized hand movements he draws out of the crowd are an impressive sight to behold, as is his impassioned monologue about the negative treatment of African Americans under the Bush administration complete with a 40ft image of the gormless looking commander-in-chief. It’s basically a re-arrangement of his Glastonbury set but heck, you can’t knock the guy – even in the admittedly sterile atmosphere it’s still a joy to watch a fantastic rapper and a gifted orator do his fuckin’ shit.

Jay Z, Main Stage