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Billie Eilish opens up about suicidal thoughts, says she was "joyless"

24 January 2020, 15:02 | Written by Cerys Kenneally

Billie Eilish has opened up about her experience with suicidal thoughts in 2018, revealing she was "joyless".

The "everything i wanted" singer spoke to CBS' Gayle King as part of The Gayle King Grammy Special.

Despite receiving six Grammy nominations this year, Eilish revealed that 2018 was a difficult year for her, "I was so unhappy last year. I was so unhappy, and I was so, like, joyless."

Finding fame at such an early age has undoubtedly been difficult. The 18-year-old said, "I don't want to be dark, but I genuinely didn't think I would make it to 17."

King goes on to ask Eilish if she ever wanted to hurt herself, to which Eilish replied, "I think about this one time I was in Berlin and I was alone in my hotel … And I remember there was a window right there … I remember crying because I was thinking about how the way that I was going to die was, I was going to do it."

Eilish goes on to reveal that her mother, Maggie Baird, helped her to see the light by getting her therapy and managing her workload.

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