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Nick Cave discusses how fans have helped him carry on following the death of his sons

13 September 2022, 16:45 | Written by Cerys Kenneally

Nick Cave has revealed that performing live and reading questions from fans via his Q&A site The Red Hand Files have helped him move forward after the death of his sons.

In a recent interview with the New York Times, Cave discussed how fans have helped him push forward after losing two of his sons. Cave lost his 15-year-old son Arthur in 2015, and his other son Jethro Lazenby died in May this year.

Speaking about moving forward from losing two sons, Cave said, "I don’t know how to say this, really, but I do know there’s a way out. The terrifying thing about when Arthur died was that it felt like, How could this feeling ever be any different? I don’t want everything I talk about and everything I am to revolve around these losses, but I feel compelled to let people in the same situation of grief know - and there are hundreds of people like that writing in to The Red Hand Files - that there is a way out. Most people who write in, especially early on in their grieving, simply cannot understand what I’m talking about in that regard. I know exactly how they feel. I understand it around Jethro."

On how grief impacts his current music, Cave said, "When Arthur died, I was thrust into the darkest place imaginable, where it was almost impossible to be able to see outside of despair. Susie and I somehow managed to pull ourselves out of that, and - I know this sounds corny - that did have something to do with the response I started to get from people who kept writing to me and saying, mostly, This happened to me, and this is what’s happening to you, and this is what can happen. This was extremely affecting for me. The concerts that I did following that, too - the care from the audience saved me. I was helped hugely by my audience, and when I play now, I feel like that’s giving something back. What I’m doing artistically is entirely repaying a debt. It’s - my other son has died. It’s difficult to talk about, but the concerts themselves and this act of mutual support saves me. People say, How can you go on tour? But for me it’s the other way around. How could I not?"

Nick Cave and Seán O’Hagan will release their Faith, Hope and Carnage book on 20 September, and it's available to pre-order now.

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