Summer Camp x Icona Pop: The Movie

24 November 2011, 08:42

Like every other self-respecting journal of popular music criticism, The Line of Best Fit was planning on writing glowing reviews of Summer Camp’s outstanding debut album, Welcome To Condale, as well asIcona Pop’s fantastic Nights Like This EP. In the course of research, however, we discovered the following manuscript at the bottom of a trunk in an attic sale following the death of a reclusive filmmaker somewhere in the American Midwest. We decided to cancel the reviews, as there was really nothing more we could add to the literature on these two records.

EXT. DAY. A HIGH SCHOOL IN AMERICA. FRONT STEPS.

It’s the first day of school. ELIZABETH, 16, emerges from a bright yellow school bus and adjusts her neon headband. She unfolds an official-looking paper from her purse and checks it over carefully.

THE GEEK, a gangly teenaged boy with big glasses, comes up behind Elizabeth and reads over her shoulder.

THE GEEK

I see that we have the same teacher for biology. His name is Harold Richard. That means it is within normal parameters to refer to him as… get this… Harry Dick! For real!

ELIZABETH

Um… Okay.

The Geek’s nice-guy friend, JEREMY, intervenes.

JEREMY

Sorry about him, he doesn’t know any better.

ELIZABETH smiles at them both and continues on her way inside.

THE GEEK

Did you see that? Something tells me that before this year is over, I will interface with her.

JEREMY

You’ll interface with your dad’s stack of Playboys.

THE GEEK

You know, I’m getting input here that I’m reading as relatively hostile… Hey… Wait… What’s wrong with this scene?

JEREMY

Besides you being a total embarrassing freak?

THE GEEK

Listen. There’s no theme music.

JEREMY looks at THE GEEK quizzically.

CUT TO:
INT. DAY MR. RICHARD’S CLASSROOM.

MR. RICHARD

…and that is why, class, you should always spare a thought for the mitochondria that work so hard for all your cells, each and every day.

The bell rings. ELIZABETH and CAROLINE snap their heavy textbooks shut.

ELIZABETH

I’m so not ready to be tested on this.

CAROLINE

Aw, really? We studied all this stuff when we were, like, six back home.

ELIZABETH

Home? Where’s that? And by the way, how do you look so happy and good all the time?

CAROLINE

I’m an exchange student from Sweden. Everybody there grows up speaking two languages, kicking the world’s ass in education rankings, and mixing and matching designer apparel with cheap complementary pieces from H&M.

ELIZABETH

Wow.

CAROLINE

Say, I have an idea. Let’s have a study party. You can tell me what life is like in America, and I’ll tell you about the Krebs Cycle.

ELIZABETH

It’s a deal!

THE GEEK approaches the two girls, followed by a very shy JEREMY.

JEREMY

(To THE GEEK) Don’t do this, please.

THE GEEK

Hey ladies, can we come too? I promise I don’t have Krebs.

JEREMY

Dude! Shut up!

CAROLINE

Ummm…. Yeah, sure, why not?

ELIZABETH

(Quietly, to Caroline) Boys? Are you sure that’s a good idea?

CAROLINE

Oh come on. Let’s invite my friend Aino over too, she’s the other mysterious Swedish exchange student in this film.

ELIZABETH

Oh gosh, I don’t know about all this.

JEREMY pauses to collect his thoughts.

JEREMY

You know, now that I think about it, this could be an occasion for young teenagers from different social backgrounds to get randomly thrown together and learn life lessons in hilarious but poignant, sexually awkward circumstances, eventually forming the core filmic narrative of a generation and inspiring the music of European indie pop acts 25 years in the future.

ELIZABETH

Well, when you put it like that, it sounds like a pretty good idea, I guess.

CAROLINE

That’s what I’m trying to get through to you, my dear.

ELIZABETH

Hey, I like the sound of that.

JEREMY

And to think I was going to study alone tonight.

ELIZABETH and JEREMY lock eyes. In a magic moment, young love is born.

ElIZABETH

(To JEREMY) Nights like this, you will never be alone.

CAROLINE

Hey, I like the sound of that.

JEREMY

You know what, gang? I think I sense theme music and a group montage coming on, in which through the magic of editing we establish our unlikely comradery and carefree, youthful joie de vivre.

Suddenly, AINO bursts through the doors and slides into the classroom on one knee.

AINO

Did someone say montage? I’m in.

CAROLINE

You and me had some good montages when we went to summer camp in Sweden together last year, didn’t we?

ELIZABETH

You Swedes are so gorgeous. You’re like my pop icons, or icons of pop. Or something like that.

MR. RICHARD

Well, it looks like you’re all about to start a beautiful friendship. And in a way, you have my class and the bold initiative of The Geek here to thank for it.

THE GEEK