Lock up your TV, the BRITS are coming!

Ah, the Brit awards. That bastion of musical knowledge has finally rolled round once again. I remember lapping up the awards when I was 14 or so. I was round at a friend’s house – we were playing Bloodwych on his Amiga – and he had the Brits double album of the year (on tape) playing.

Like every other year – it’s awful stuff on display. It’s the kind of moronic theatre on a world stage that is surely detested by the rest of the world. I mean, does anyone actually care about these awards? Do they have any prestige whatsoever? Surely, this ‘British’ equivalent of the Grammys is just an excuse to rake in some cash, see Kylie’s arse and for good artists to not show up.

The best British male awards includes Mike Skinner, Ian Brown, James Morrison (?) and Paul Weller. Who lines this stuff up? Is it the public? It’s only Weller who’s released anything half-decent recently – and he should’ve stopped when The Jam ended. He should ditch the haircut and retire immediately. Maybe I’ll start a Facebook campaign.

Radiohead should win the best band award - In Rainbows is possibly the best thing they’ve ever done. They’re pretty much the only band in the world who keep moving forward, musically. I reckon Elbow or *shudder* Coldplay will win. Coldplay, because they sold the most albums last year, and Elbow for that huge riff on Grounds for Divorce. I love it that Girls Aloud and Take That are even in the same catogory – it’s a mockery of an award.

Best International Male is an interesting category Jay-Z, Kanye West, Beck, Neil Diamond and Seasick Steve. Seasick Steve, who was hideously (and quite incorrectly) lambasted by a certain NME journo late last year, would be an interesting win. He’s as much an outsider as Neil Diamond. The BBC Seasick documentary ‘Bringing it all back home’ was excellent in terms of its breadth, delivery and content.

The Scientologist Beck won’t win – leaving one of the big hip-hop hitters who’ve both collaborated with UK artists. Did you see Jay-Z chumming it up with Coldplay at the Grammys? The lovely and unique Beth Rowley should win best Female but it will probably be Estelle in light of ‘American Boy’.

All in all, my feelings towards the Brits (and awards ceremonies in general) have changed as I’ve aged. BAFTA, Oscars, Grammy, MOBO and the plethora of other self-flagellating excuses for congratulating ‘artists’ make me want to pick up my TV, barge my way into the ceremony and smash it down on every winner’s head as they come to collect their bloody trophy.

Art created by artists is for appreciation – not for simple tokenistic trinkets and plaudits to stick on CD cases to shift more units. Sadly, that’s all these awards truly represent.