Kids are the cruellest critic, aren’t they? Just think about it, if you’re walking past a bus stop late at night – who do you fear the most? Is it the stumbling drunk who can hardly put up a fight against his own gravitational pull? No. It’s the gang of 12 year olds shouting nonsensical things like “Oi, nice cardigan”. Leading me to weep quietly while all the while thinking “But this IS one of my nice cardigans…” There’s just no way to reason with kids. And that’s fucking petrifying.
So I guess that a bunch of young ‘uns would be those best suited to be the harshest music critic, right? Noisey sure thought so with their vid ‘Do Cute Kids Like Radiohead?’. They got an adorable group of pre-schoolers to listen to and critique Radiohead’s ‘Paranoid Android’.
Here are some choice quotes that Thom Yorke and co may wish to use:
“I would not like to make music like this at all” – Blonde girl who’s seemingly stolen mum’s pearl necklace.
“N-Dubz is better than Radiohead” – Young bro in stupid hat.
“I would pay ten-hundred pound on a Radiohead album” – Curly-haired kid who hasn’t been taught the word “a thousand” yet.
“I would pay £3″ – A cheapskate/ The future death of music.
“People just pretend to like it to look cool” – Someone satirising hipster culture better than any of us ever could.
“He talks about killing a pig, that’s not nice because it’s murdering” – Future Morrissey of tomorrow.
“I think he should cheer up by listening to N-Dubz” – Another member of the group clearly in the pocket of Dappy’s record label.
“La la la la la” – Somebody with a bright future destined in music blogging.
“I don’t think he has any friends, just a pet.” – One of the kids explaining the importance of the phantom tree in King Of Limbs.
“I do think he’s depressed” - Someone clearing up that age old question once and for all.
Watch the vid in full above.