All Apologies: Brian Pern

Who would play you in the movie of your life?

Idris Elba. He’s a great guy and boy he can sing.

What would your superpower be and why?

I’d like to be able to hover - not fly , that would be dangerous. Just a few feet off the ground would do me. And to hear sounds at different frequencies so I could record happy music for dogs and animal kingdom who get a raw deal in this industry.

What’s your idea of heaven?

A recording studio where they don’t charge you over time! That’s one for the other recording artists.

What one thing have you learnt from your parents?

My 6 times table and how not to talk to waiters in restaurants.

What song do you wish you’d written?

Well I think my songs are all good and wouldn’t want to wish I’d written any other. At a push I’d say ‘Oh Yeah’ by Yello as it appeared in every single TV and film of the 1980s and they made a good whack of money which they spent on Dutch things, where as I’d have helped the world and the animal kingdom - and Sleeping Satellite by Tamsin Archer.

If you could say something to your 15 year old self, what would it be?

Don’t get in the car with that man who says your mum has asked him to pick you up and take you home.

What’s your re-occurring nightmare?

I keep dreaming that I am the lead singer of Shed 7.

What song will they play at your funeral?

One of my own. I haven’t decided yet. Probably ‘Succulent Chinese Meal.'

What five people would you invite to your fantasy dinner party?

Oh that question. I hate dinner parties, so I’d get them to come and jam in the studio. make a few sounds have a chat and a giggle. Sally Gunnell, Putin, Bill Gates, Oleta Adams and the bland topless guy from Poldark to keep my wife happy whilst the rest of us talked shop.

And finally, who would you most like to apologise to and why?

Mike Batt - he knows why.